Happiness should be our natural state of being right? Well why aren’t we happy all the time then? Why is it that some of us have mostly bad days and just occasionally just a glimpse of a good one?
Happiness, what is that anyway?
First thing first, lets define that overused, already tired term-HAPPINESS!
According to Merriam-Webster dictionary:
Definition of happiness
1.good fortune: prosperity
2. a: a state of well-being and contentment: joy
b: a pleasurable or satisfying experience (I wish you every happiness in life)
3. a striking happiness of expression
I believe that happiness in general terms could be defined as: prosperity, joy or satisfying experience but in order to really understand it we need to look deep inside. Happiness has a different meaning for everyone and even for the same person it could mean different things on different occasions or stages in life.
Own your happiness
What makes you smile and what adds spring to your step?
Don’t feel obliged to fulfill other people’s expectations of your happiness expression. What I mean is, if you are perfectly happy sitting with a serious face looking at the ducks swimming at the pond, just do it. Don’t feel like you need to smile, or repeat how beautiful ducks are and how awesome the life is!
I’m an introvert (obviously right?! I’m hiding behind computer screen trying to write something “smart’) and sometimes I don’t feel like socializing or putting my good mood on a display. I had hard time convincing people around me that “Everything is ok, I’m fine, I just need some quiet time, …” every time I would go ‘inside”.
I decided I won’t do that anymore!
And you shouldn’t either!
Be you in your own way, and don’t explain yourself to anyone!
Embrace your UN-happy days
Like I said in the beginning we should be happy all the time, or at least much more than we are on an average day… but sometimes that’s not in the cards for us.
The best way to “be happy” is to accept that you won’t be all the time. And that’s ok! More than ok. As long as you don’t additionally beat yourself up because of that!
I always like to use this metaphor with my clients when we talk about lack of something:
Let’s say that chocolate is your favorite food in the world (and yes, I consider chocolate as food because I cant live without it!) and you can eat it as much as you want whenever you want. Well sooner or later you would be so used to it that it would loose its appeal and frankly, you would probably get sick from all that sugar (sounds impossible but it would happen).
So, that's what would happen if we would be in our “happy mode” ALL the time! We would forget what happy really is because we wouldn’t be able to compare it to anything.
Obviously, it is not natural to be happy all the time! The more you are the better but when dark times come, ride it out and don’t reproach yourself. It’s not you-it’s the nature ;)
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